Anonymous sources
Huffington Post (blog) (satire)
Momentarily Confused Congress Declares War on War - Huffington Post (blog) (satire)
"I don't know what I was thinking," said the embarrassed member of Congress, who released a statement on condition of anonymity. "I guess I just thought for, like, a second, that maybe if everyone stopped hating each other and stopped fighting over ...
Republican Candidates to Debate Whose Sperm Is Most Sacred - Huffington Post (blog) (satire)
"Sperm is really important," explains an anonymous source close to Rick Santorum, "There is no doubt that the role of sperm as been marginalized during the past 50 years by radical women seeking equality. Rick Santorum wants to fix that.
Following Sixteen Senior Staff, Candidate to Resign from Gingrich Campaign - Huffington Post (blog) (satire)
The decision was made following a tense meeting between Gingrich and his top two aides, according to a recently unemployed Gingrich staffer who has asked to remain anonymous. "The fact is Newt just didn't like the direction that the campaign was headed ...
Republicans Urge Autopen to Consider Presidential Campaign - Huffington Post (blog) (satire)
"The Autopen is the best serious candidate we can come up with now that both Governors Chris Christie and Mitch Daniels have declined to run," says a Republican National Committee member who asked to speak off the record. He observed that the Autopen ...
Eunuch Sought for IMF Presidency - Huffington Post (blog) (satire)
One would-be IMF president, who asked to remain anonymous, said "they're really pretty picky. It's almost as bad as getting a mortgage loan or trying to understand how we can possibly have a credit crunch when loans are available at less than 5 percent ...
America to Be Examined for Vision Impairment - Huffington Post (blog) (satire)
Said one source who asked not to be named because his head would be chopped off, "We believe that every nation, large or small, rich or poor, hypocritical or just forgetful, deserves humanitarian aid when the need arises. We stand with America at this ...