Anonymous sources
Glossy News (satire)
Tweezers and Magnified Mirrors Selling Fast as Depilatory Cream Ban Hits America - Glossy News (satire)
Two elderly ladies from in southwest Texas, who flat out refused to be identified, said they were contemplating driving south of the border to buy their depilatory creams in Mexico. “Drug war, schmug war,” said one of the women.
Despite Strong Support, Prop 19 Fails Due to Inaction, Dude - Glossy News (satire)
... Officer Jason Torgeson of the San Diego Police Department, who lives at 1419 Maxwell Court in La Presa, California, and who asked to remain anonymous. ...
Obama Gets Tough with Iran: Leaves Bitchy Note on UN Desk - Glossy News (satire)
According to sources who did not wish to be identified due to the sensitive nature of the issue, the White House placed the blame for the continuing ...
Obama Approval Approaches Nickelback Levels - Glossy News (satire)
A super smart liberal pundit who asked to remain anonymous had this to say. “People are angry. They don't like the way the country is going. Bush. ...
Comedy Central Censors Own Press Release About South Park Censoring - Glossy News (satire)
A crew member at Today, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said Producers of the show became alarmed when they received a tweet from someone going by ...
Dems Respond to Vampire Corruption Charges - Glossy News (satire)
Rushing into a waiting limousine as the sun was setting, Speaker Pelosi spoke off the record to Glossy News, telling reporters, “This isn't funny, OK? ...
Did SeaWorld Trainer Dawn Brancheau Commit Suicide? - Glossy News (satire)
A SeaWorld official who asked not to be identified said that the organization was looking into Tilikum's Twitter account to see if any of his tweets “shed ...
PETA Wants Tilikum the Killer Whale Tried As a Dolphin - Glossy News (satire)
Although PETA's Newkirk would not comment on courtroom strategy, a source close to the organization suggested that a not-guilty-by-reason-of-insanity plea ...
Congress Proposes Replacing 2010 Election w/ “Psychic Estimate” Index - Glossy News (satire)
However, sources close to Robertson, who did not wish to be identified, refused to predict the outcome of any Robertson estimated election, since it was “in ...
Tiger Woods Converts to Mormonism, Declares 2nd Wife – Seeking More? - Glossy News (satire)
Church officials, speaking off the record in Salt Lake City, stated that the LDS Church did not officially sanction polygamy or multiple marriages. ...